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Gamophobia

Good morning,

Straight to my letter to you today. I was in an evening service yesterday and we were listening to a message by BDHM and he was preaching about different forms of spirit of fears/disorders. MY goodness I knew I just had to tell you about it.

Below is the link to the message if you want to listen to it. He always does a better job at explaining these things. ⤵️⤵️

Spirit of Power, Love and Sound Mind Part 2 by BDHM

Scripture for the message is

2 Timothy 1 (Listen)

2 Timothy 1:7For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

So for those who haven’t googled today’s title yet to find out what on earth I’ll be talking about, here it is.

What is Gamophobia??? (According to google)

“Gamophobia is the fear of commitment, though it can also be the excessive, persistent, uncontrollable and irrational fear of marriage. It is derived from the Greek word Gamos which means marriage and phobos meaning fear.”

I have met a lot of people with all sorts of fears of marriage/commitment, such as…

A person is particularly scared of getting married, and I mean the idea of spending their whole life with a single person is daunting for them.

What causes Gamophobia???

It is typically looked at as only a man’s problem, especially because some find it hard to commit to one woman or even bring themselves to propose to their long term beloved. But I must point out, that a lot of women also suffer from it.

I mean a client was telling me the other day that a friend’s husband said he loves his wife but doesn’t understand why he can’t have turkey sometimes although he enjoys chicken.

You also find that these types of people, live with their partners, have children but never get married, because of the fear that marriage will curse the relationship or the other party will change and all sorts.

Some factors that causes it are personal insecurities (like being heart broken, not feeling adequate enough for their partners etc), financial status and other social factors that comes along with marriage.

Even if they do manage to get married, these thoughts and fears are still lingering around. It can develop into domestic violence, pushing the other partner away, false accusations and so on.

Gamophobia occurs sometimes when the person didn’t witness good marriages around them. So this has left a bad taste in their mouth.

In my research I read that these incidents can be caused by divorce of parents during childhood, abuse from parents, seeing one’s parents or other married couples fight and quarrel, a previous marriage failure, betrayal from partner or hearing about unsuccessful marriages extensively.

Treatment for Gamophobia

It can be treated with both therapy/counselling and medications. I will also add with a lot of prayer and spiritual counselling not just any counselling.

But like I always say, if you want to be healed you have to first admit and confess that you have a problem.

What I’m saying is, if you really want to overcome the fear of marriage/commitment, you desire/need to really be ready to overcome the fear, seek the right guidance from your senior ministers and take practical steps.

Let’s stop denying what is clear and right in front of us. We will be missing out on great things in life, that we are entitled to, that God has planned for us.

May our stubbornness and inability to seek for help not hinder us from our breakthrough.

Proverbs 29:1 “He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing.”

Everything that is a success in life takes a lot of work. So just like how you want to be successful in your job and personal life, you must be ready to put the same effort into your relationships/marriage.

Marriage is an unending school, it is like entering into an unknown territory. There is no manual.

That is why we must have faith and by the grace of God, I know you can overcome this fear, as long as you are willing to be healed from the spirit of Gamophobia. Amen.

Psalms 34:17

The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.”

Be blessed 😇🙏😘

Yours always,

#myepistle…

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Fear Controls You

Good morning,

I’m glad to be writing to you today. As you know I have been very lazy writing lately.

I am allowing my personal life to take centre stage right now. I guess it’s just a season. I know when I do have something important that God has laid in my heart for you, you will hear from me 😊.

But I just needed to write today. I woke up with this thought about fear.

You know fear is one of the things that stops us from progressing.

Firstly what does the dictionary mean by the word “FEAR”

* An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.

A feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something or the safety of someone. The likelihood of something unwelcome happening. A mixed feeling of dread and reverence, ‘like the love and fear of God’

BDHM once said

“JUST LIKE FAITH COMES BY HEARING, FEAR ALSO COMES BY HEARING”

When I heard this quote that “fear comes by hearing”, it made perfect sense.

Fear doesn’t just come upon you, it starts with a thought developing or that voice inside you giving you negative thoughts or like someone saying something like,….

…You are not beautiful enough

…You haven’t achieved much in life

…Why aren’t you married yet?

…Don’t you think that dress looks tacky

…To make it in this industry it is hard

…As for me I don’t think it is possible

You see all these types of statements drives fear and doubts into us and causes us not to progress.

I mean who cares right! Gods timing and all, God knows best.

I used to be a victim of this, but glory to God, during my early days as a Christian, God gave me this scripture and whenever I feel like I am developing any form of fear or anxiety I just repeat this scripture to myself till I feel better.

2 Timothy 1:7, For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

By the way if you didn’t know, this is my favourite scripture of all time.

I don’t have much to say than let us be careful of the types people we listen to, whom we allow to have a say or influence our thoughts and decisions. They can influence our thoughts and invite or awaken demons like fear inside us.

Be weary 🤔🤔 of people making passing comments. Focus on the word of God and His promises, because He’s got you.

Be blessed and till next time, yours always…😊

#myepistle…

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MIA

Good morning,

It has been a long time since I have written to you. I am so sorry for those who are always looking forward to my epistles.

I am just getting used to my new life.

There is a lot going on and I’m learning to adapt, I’m learning to accept, I’m learning to love this new chapter of my life.

I’m sure you’re wondering what is going on??? In due time don’t worry I will share.

But for now I am just managing to get used to it. But I’m still here, I’m alive and kicking and I believe same with you all.

So the Lord put it in my heart the other day that I gave a job and you’re not doing a good job of it.

I told the Lord please help me plan better because I just feel so overwhelmed right now and I’m still working it out.

As usual he said all you had to do was ask. Remember I cannot come in or else you give me permission.

He reminded me of His words…

John 15:16

“You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you.

And…

Matthew 7:7

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

So I might be MIA occasionally, but I will do my best to always come back to you all.

I just wish there was a better medium to do this without having to send a link. Oh well! till I find another medium I’ll still keep on using this one.

I’m taking another approach towards my epistle to you. So you might find a much personal approach will resonate as time goes by.

And I believe according to this scripture…

2 Corinthians 12:8-9

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

I feel reassured that indeed he His with us all. So anyone out there feeling overwhelmed about their current situation, please be encouraged that God is with you and he’ll never leave nor forsake you.

Continue to stay tuned and God bless you as you read and share.

Lots of love always. 😇😘🙏

#myepistle…