I believe you had a great weekend and I thank God for keeping you.
“The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread”. ~Mother Teresa
WIFE:- I have been with my husband for about 13 years now and we have a decent relationship but there is no passion, affection, or excitement. We just have nothing in common anymore and live mostly like roomates.
HUSBAND:- After hearing my wife say for the past 12 years that she feels like we’re roommates. I don’t play video games, I’m active with my kids, I try to be as sensitive to my wife’s needs as I possibly know how, but I keep “coming up short!?” I’m not trying to paint myself as a noble saint–I know I’m not perfect. I am just genuinely trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong (for 12 years) that is upsetting her!? Whenever I try to ask her, she tells that I just don’t get it and then ends the conversation. I’m fishing here for any kind of any answer, because it feels like any minute the wheels are going to come flying off our marriage and I won’t have a clue as to what happened or how to resolve it!? I love her, I want to be with her, I’m doing everything I know to do, but like I said, I just keep coming up short!?
Firstly I find it the most absurd comment people make when they want out of their marriage. You didn’t have anything in common in the first place. Apart from that, as long as there is real love, when there is a bend in the marriage, the passion, affection, or excitement, can always be revived.
So I asked a few people who had similar issues and this is what I found, that they had married for the wrong reasons in the first place. When I asked why did you get married?, these where their reason,
1.) I really liked him, but mostly for financial stability
2.) I was getting older, but yes I loved him too
3.) He was very handsome and I fell in love
4.) I was ready to start having children and we were ok at the time.
And so on…
This past weekend a friend had come to work with me on a wedding. During the time it randomly dropped into my heart and I said to her “aren’t you glad we married for love”. She said “Yes”. We may not have what we know some of our friends have, but we can see they didn’t marry for genuine love.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I realised a lot of marriages fall out of love because they married for the wrong reasons. They didn’t consider what the will of God was in choosing a spouse. They didn’t pray, they went only on emotions and feelings.
Frankly you were not in love in the first place and that is why the love never grew. Real love grows and people enjoy each other more and more as time goes by. The first mistake is not waiting on God for the right person, which then leaves you with the wrong person or frankly choosing the bad apples.
Psalm 27, Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.
Keep God at the centre always. Because the nearer you are the better your marriage and the further you are the more the marriage weakens.
Have a great week ahead and remember “Love is fruitful and is meant to grow when sown on a good ground and not wither away like it was sown on a stony ground”. Please choose wisely!
Yours always, this is…