As promised am back, and it was a good Christmas. Thank God.
We Have To Learn To Check Ourself!
I had just been married just about a year after a 3year courtship, which wasn’t easy (will talk about how we survived celibacy another time), and it had been great.
(To address thoughts that can go through your mind)……Yes some might say I’ve not been married long enough to advice. It’s not about length it’s about…
Knowing to quickly choose the school of wisdom and not the school of experience.
Am just sharing my thoughts and experiences in hope of someone out there being saved or helped 😊.
I found myself being the bread winner. As a very much hard working woman I would work long hours to make sure we had more than enough.
I was the good wife, I who would come home and put the money earned on the table, so he had free access to it at anytime. Though a lot of friends, actually everyone around me thought I was silly.
1.) My money is my money
2.) I will go back to my parents till he gets back on his feet
3.) I wouldn’t do that men are not worth it.
And so many more…
You see at that time I actually didn’t see a problem with that. So guess you could clap for me and say I was being Godly, because I believed I was fulfilling scripture and doing what a good and true Christian wife should do.
Proverbs 31:10-13, An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil. All the days of her life. She looks for wool and flaxAnd works with her [h]hands [i]in delight.
But you see I was falling short in another area. Hmmmmmmmm.
I would work till, well the latest I had ever worked was till about 1.45am. That particular day I had even started work at 8am. Two hours before opening time and closed nearly 8hours supposed closed time.
I did a lot of late shifts like this and in that time I felt, my business was just taking off, and we also needed every penny so it was ok.
The result of my actions where…
1.) I would completely forget I had someone waiting for me at home (this is the person I loved and was working hard for).
2.) I wouldn’t even call to say I was going to be late or say i was leaving much earlier to go to work.
3.) When I did get home I wouldn’t ask if he had eaten.( I mean he’s been home the whole day, he must have cooked and eaten).
4.) I did not care about the household chores. (I means he’s been home he should have done them).
5.) I wouldn’t make love as often because I was so tired from work. (From a very healthy sex life to barely once a week, my excuse was you know am tired).
6.) Or when I did get home and no food I would be very upset and ask what have you been doing?
And so many more…SHAMEFUL right?🙈
So the other day when i was asked about a similar situation, i decided to post it after the converstaion.
When we read Proverbs 31, we usually start from 31:10. But if you read from the begining, you will understand the reason for the scripture. It was an advice given to a king called Lemuel by his mother who was his gretaest council.
It is good to have a mother or mother inlaw who can give good council.
Proverbs 31:2-3, What, O my son? And what, O son of my womb? And what, O son of my vows? Do not give your strength to women, Or your ways to that which destroys kings.
Even the bible tells us about what happens when a woman has the upper hand. She can destroy her own home out of pride and superiority.
I initially got angry and didn’t care about how he felt (being a choleric, is was expected). I just wanted to achieve a certain goal and didn’t care what about what was in my way.
There are men who have also played this role I played. Either male of female it is wrong and we should learn to check ourselves regularly on our actions.
You see, you need to mature in hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit and be able to judge yourself in every situation. This will bring a quicker problem solver to your relationships. Rather than always pointing the finger back at the other person.
1 Corinthians 11:31, For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged.
You might be surprised that it is your actions that is causing them to have a bad attitude or a changed attitude.
I checked myself and realised I was wrong and started learning how to communicate and express myself to him.
Am still learning by the way.
In conclusion let us check ourselves, use the word of God constantly to prove yourself, if your conscience is awake the Holy Spirit will convict you when ever you are wrong. Let go of pride and allow yourself to be corrected.
The word of God says it better…
2 Timothy 3:16, Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness;
Be blessed as persist to abide in him and his word.